Franks in compliance?

MY FRIENDS OUT THERE. WITH THE WORRY OF PHYSICALS, SOME OF YOU ARE TAKING DRASTIC MEASURES TO PASS. SOME DIP KITTY LITTER OR CHEW CABBAGE LEAVES, OTHERS ARE WORRIED ABOUT THEIR WEIGHT. A CLOSE FRIEND OF MINE WAS RECENTLY FOUND IN THIS PICTURE MAKING HIMSELF COMPLIANT WITH HIS HEIGHT/WEIGHT RATIO. I AM HERE FOR ALL OF YOU. BEFORE THESE ACTIONS, PLEASE COME TO ME. LOVE YOUR PAL, DIXON.

LT DANIEL GOODWIN AKA (GOOD-O)

I HAVE RECEIVED NUMEROUS QUESTIONS AND COMMENTS REGARDING LT GOODWIN LATELY AND WOULD LIKE TO INFORM THE AUDIENCE ABOUT HIM. LT GOOD-O AS WE CALL HIM IS ORIGINALLY FROM MOBILE ALABAMA AND MOVED HERE DUE TO THE RELOCATION PROGRAM UNDER THE WITNESS PROTECTION PROGRAM. UNFORTUNATELY NOT MUCH IS KNOWN ABOUT LT GOOD-Os PAST DUE TO HIS SECRET HISTORY BUT THOSE OF US THAT WORK WITH HIM DO KNOW SOME OF THE STORY. LT GOOD-O IS A VERY AGGRESSIVE NR-EMTP THAT HAS WORKED AT STATION 9 FOR APPROX TWO YEARS AND PRIOR TO THAT HE WAS AT STATION 2 FOR APPROX FIVE YEARS. IF YOU ASK HIM WHAT HE DID BEFORE HE CAME TO WORK FOR THE CITY HE WILL TELL YOU THE SAME THING AND THAT IS HE USE TO BE A MECHANIC , BUT WE ALL KNOW HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHERE THE DIPSTICKS ARE ON ANY OF OUR TRUCKS. IN HIS SPARE TIME HE LIKES TO TAKE LONG WALKS ON BY THE ROANOKE RIVER, SPEND TIME WITH HIS FAMILY, WORK A SECOND JOB(AS A MEDIC), LOOK AT THE STARS AT NIGHT, MOUNTAIN BIKE, WORK OUT, RAISE HONEY BEES, WORK IN THE GARDEN, FLY FISH(DUE TO THE CAPTAINS FAVORITE HOBBY), READ ROMANCE NOVELS, PLAY DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS(ON LINE), AND FACEBOOK. RECENTLY HE MENTIONED SOMETHING ABOUT PEOPLE GETTING TO CLOSE TO FINDING OUT HIS TRUE IDENTITY AND HAD TO PURCHASE A NEW VEHICLE TO THROW THEM OFF. HE DECIDED TO PICK A NICE MUSTANG THAT COULD OUT RUN ANY PROBLEMS HE MAY RUN INTO, AND ALSO PICK A COLOR THAT THEY WOULD NEVER SUSPECT HIM TO BE DRIVING(GIRL BLUE). HE SAID THE JEEP WAS GETTING JUST TO RISKY TO RUN AROUND IN WITHOUT BEING NOTICED. IF YOU SEE HIM ANYTIME SOON TRY NOT TO ASK HIM MANY QUESTIONS ABOUT HIS PAST BECAUSE WE WOULD HATE FOR HIM TO HAVE TO MOVE AGAIN DUE TO HIS SECRET OF BEING HERE HIDING OUT BE FOUND OUT BY THE WRONG PEOPLE. HERE IS SHOT THAT I QUICKLY SNAPPED OF LT WITH HIS NEW CUTE CAR AS HE RUNS PLACE TO PLACE TRYING TO LIMIT HIS PUBLIC EXPOSURE. NOTICE HIS FACE HAS BEEN HIDDEN TO PROTECT HIS IDENTITY. HE TOLD US YESTERDAY THAT THINGS WERE GETTING TO HOT AROUND HERE AND HE WAS GOING TO LEAVE TOWN FOR A COUPLE WEEKS AND HE WOULD SOMEWHERE IN NEW YORK LAYING LOW TILL THE TRIAL WAS OVER.

SAFE SEX

Anonymous said...
Dixon,Is there ever really such a thing as "safe" sex?


"SAFE SEX" IS NOT REALLY SAFE SEX, AND THE ONLY SURE WAY IS ABSTINENCE. UNFORTUNATELY IN MY LINE OF WORK I SEE THE RESULT OF UNPROTECTED SEX AND ITS BURDEN ON SO MANY WHEN THAT MOMENT OF PLEASURE TURNED INTO A LIFETIME COMMITMENT. EVEN WHEN YOU TAKE ALL THE PRECAUTIONS POSSIBLE SEX IS NOT 100% SAFE. I BELIEVE IN SAVING YOURSELF TILL YOU ARE MARRIED AND THEN THEIR IS NO CHANCE OF DISEASES OR ACCIDENTS. I KNOW THIS IS A HARD DECISION TO MAKE AND FOLLOW THROUGH BUT THE END RESULT WILL BE MORE THEN ANYONE COULD IMAGINE. BEFORE ANYONE SHOULD EVEN THINK ABOUT HAVING SEX THEY SHOULD ASK THEMSELVES IF THEY ARE READY TO RAISE A CHILD IN THIS WORLD, BECAUSE IF YOU ARE NOT, THEN DO NOT TAKE CHANCES.

SAFE LOVE ALWAYS,
DIXON

Almost Unfaithful

HELPMEI need some help. I have been having feeling about a co-worker. There is a cuople of problems with this, 1 she is married & 2 so am I. I try to stay away from her when she is working. I have no work reasons to have to be near her when we are at work together. I could go to another room if I wanted too, but I just find myself wanting to be near her. Sometimes I think she may feel the same way, but it is more than likely wishful thinking. When I am at home I find myself day dreaming about her. I have never had feelings like this for any other women but my wife. I just don't know what to do. The feelings just keep getting stronger. How can I stop the way I feel.Almost Unfaithfull


YOU ARE HAVING THE SAME FEELINGS SO MANY OF US HAVE BUT SO FEW ACT ON. THIS IS NORMAL WHEN YOU SPEND SO MUCH TIME WITH SOMEONE THAT YOU REALLY HAVE LITTLE COMMITMENT VALUES WITH. IT SEEMS THAT YOU ALWAYS ARE GOING OUT OF YOUR WAY TO MAKE FUNNY REMARKS AND QUICK TO POINT OUT HER GREAT ASSETS BUT NEVER DO THE SAME AT HOME. YOU MUST ASK YOURSELF A QUESTION THAT ONLY YOU WILL BE ABLE TO ANSWER AND THAT IS AM I REALLY DOING EVERYTHING I CAN TO MAKE MY MARRIAGE WORK. I HOPE YOU WILL BE ABLE TO WORK THROUGH YOUR CRUSH FEELINGS BECAUSE THAT IS ALL THIS IS AND NO MORE. MY BEST ADVICE FOR YOU TO GO OUT AND BUY FIREPROOF THE MOVIE AND WATCH IT WITHOUT YOUR WIFE AND FOLLOW THE RULES OF THAT MOVIE IF YOU REALLY DEEP DOWN WANT YOUR MARRIAGE TO WORK AND BE FRUIT FULL.
LOVE ALWAYS,
DIXON

1.2 GIGA WATTS

Anonymous said...
In your professional opinion....is the Flux Capacitor (rated at 1.2 giga watts) all it's cracked up to be or would you suggest using the P32 explosive space modulator? Given the relative rate of expansion and the time/space continum theory, I'm leaning toward the knowledgable and ethical use of the later. Any thoughts?

DEAR GIGA WATTS,

IN MY PROFESSIONAL OPINION, YES I AM A PRO, I HAVE BEEN DOING THIS FOR YEARS, I WOULD HAVE TO SUGGEST THAT YOU NOT LIMIT YOURSELF TO ONLY USING ONE OF THESE BUT BE OPEN TO A COMBINATION OF BOTH. FEW PEOPLE KNOW IT, BUT SEVERAL YEARS AGO I INSTALLED A COMBINATION OF BOTH ON MY 1979 CHEVY BRONCO. I WAS VERY IMPRESSED WITH THE OUTCOME. THE EXPLOSIVE POWER OF THE P-32 GAVE ME THE PERFORMANCE I WANTED WHY THE RUMBLE FROM THE FLUX CAPACITOR SENT ME BACK IN TIME TO MY CHILDHOOD DAYS OF THE 1940S. HAD I NOT SPENT A LOT OF MY CHILDHOOD UNDER THE DIRECT SUPERVISION OF HENRY FORD I MAY NOT HAVE BEEN ABLE TO GRASP THIS CONCEPT MYSELF. WITH PROPER ADJUSTMENTS YOU WILL CAPTURE THE RATE OF EXPANSION AS WELL AS USING ALL OF YOUR SPACE AND TIME, THAT IS MY THEORY. UNTIL THE NEXT QUESTION LOVE,

JOHN THE "PRO"

I NEEDA MAN

I read on your Wikipedia page that you actually had the idea and trained Bear Grylls and Les Stroud for their respective survival shows "Man vs. Wild" and "Survivorman." Is there any truth to this? I have seen these two guys face some pretty insane obstacles and always come out on top! I understand that you share a close bond with nature due to your deer eye and therefore can actually hear deer think and anticipate their every move, making them as you say "an easy kill." Anywho, just wanted to see if indeed you were the mentor of these two "manly men."
Forever enamoured,Ineeda Man

DEER I NEEDA MAN,
SOMETIMES IN THIS SHORT LIFE WE DO THINGS WE ARE NOT PROUD OF AND SOMETIMES WE HAVE THE ABILITY TO CHANGE LIVES. I TOOK BOTH OF THESE LADS UNDER MY WING AND GAVE THEM A TASTE OF SOME OF LIFE'S LESSONS THAT I LEARNED THE HARD WAY GROWING UP IN SOME OF THESE LANDS THEY DO THEIR SHOWS ABOUT. WHERE DO YOU THINK THEY GET ALL OF THEIR SURVIVOR SKILLS FROM, I KNOW THEY WILL TELL YOU THAT I WAS HARD ON BOTH OF THEM, BUT YOU CAN SEE HOW WELL THEY ARE DOING NOW. I BELIEVE IT ALL GOES BACK TO WHEN I WAS BEING RAISED BY A PACK OF WILD WOLVES AND HAD TO FEND FOR MYSELF. AS FOR SHARING A CLOSE BOND WITH NATURE, WELL I LIKE TO THINK OF MYSELF AS THE REAL LIVING BEASTMASTER(ONE OF MY FAVORITE MOVIES). I HAD MANY CHOICES WHEN MY EYE WENT BAD DUE TO OLD COMBAT INJURY, BUT I KNEW IMMEDIATELY THAT I WANTED TO REPLACE IT WITH A DEER EYE. DEER ARE SUCH SURVIVORS EVEN WHEN THE ODDS ARE STACKED AGAINST THEM AND THEY ARE THE ANIMAL I LIKE TO COMPARE MYSELF TO DUE TO THEIR SPEED, AGILITY AND DESIRE TO LIVE. AS ALWAYS I HOPE YOU ARE A BETTER PERSON DUE TO MY EXPERIENCE AND WISDOM THAT I'M SO EXCITED TO SHARE WITH ALL.
TO ALL MY FANS, I LOVE YOU AND KEEP THE QUESTIONS COMING,

LOVE JOHN "DISHWASHER HANDS" D.

OPEN POST

THIS IS AN OPEN INVITATION FOR YOUR QUESTIONS AND AS ALWAYS WITH LOVE, JOHN